Monday, 29 September 2008

One step forward, two steps back

We had our appointment with the vicar at the weekend, who said the short answer to whether we could have the wedding ceremony in their church was no, but the long answer was yes, if we became members of the church. This entails going along regularly for 6+ months, and then signing up to be on their electoral roll.

Before starting the planning I never knew how complex the rules were on where you can marry and how, it's almost like they don't want you to get married in their church.

I had never really considered joining an Anglican church having been brought up at Baptist churches, but I really haven't settled at one in the 4 years we've been down here now. So we went along to the service on Sunday. I never thought, as a Christian, that it was going to be so difficult to sort this out, but it is absolutely fundamental that we do this bit right, otherwise what is the point of doing it in a church at all?

It is important for me to emphasise that we are not trying to find a church only for the wedding. There is no way I'm going along to a church for the next 18 months just for the purpose of the ceremony. How awful would we feel if we never went along again after that.

Having a church we both like and feel comfortable in is the most important thing, and I think it is necessary as the right grounding for this lifelong commitment we are making.

We liked the church service on Sunday, so we will give it another go and see if it seems feasible to settle there. There's not going to be any quick answers on this for a while. However, we probably need to start making the other arrangements sooner.

So I might go a bit quiet here until things are more settled and a bit further along.

Monday, 22 September 2008

Vera Wang - part 2

I went back and took a piccy of the dress I saw the other day.
I had another search online as I had more of an idea what I had seen. I like it alot!

I found it finally as a pre-owned dress, here.

I really like the eyelet cut lace and the empire line waist. Didn't think I'd like a mermaid shaped dress, but this one is lovely. I suppose if I'm doing my own, I can change the shape.

Sunday, 21 September 2008

Amy Atlas - drool!

This has got to be the best idea! Why have one dessert when you can have a whole table of choices? And when they look this pretty who could resist?

Here are some gorgeous examples of Amy Atlas' work providing sweet treats.

The only problem with a buffet is, when do you stop eating?

I have seen this on plenty of blogs this week but I think the first was Once Wed

Croque en bouche

We have seen these yummy looking cake alternatives, known as a croque en bouche.

They are basically a pile of profiteroles filled with pastry cream and then covered in caramelised spun sugar. This makes a crunchy coating, which gives it the name 'cracks in the mouth'.

It depends a bit on caterers, but we might quite like to have this to combine the dessert and cake in one. No-one eats the wedding cake otherwise (well they haven't at any wedding I've been to).

It will also depend on whether my mum feels up to being able to make one! Bring on the trial runs!

Vera Wang

When I was out today, I happened to see a lovely Vera Wang dress in a shop window, and was distracted by it, as I am with all wedding related stuff at the moment.
So when I got back I set to trying to find it online.

I had looked on the Vera Wang website before, but only at the images. I hadn't spent time looking through everything else.
There is a large amount of practical advice and ideas (in the Ideas and inspiration section), including ideas about colours, male attire, and other various aspects of planning. If you were to follow all the advice I'm sure you would have a beautiful wedding, possibly even to match the lovely black and white photos displayed on the site!

I couldn't find the dress though...

Thursday, 18 September 2008


I'm planning to do quite a bit of DIY for the wedding, not just as a cost saving device but just because I, as well as my mum, enjoy it so much.

The plan is to definitely do the invites and other stationery.
We were almost certain to do the cake, but I think we may want a croque en bouche (yum!) and I don't know how possible that is for us to make.

The dress is almost certainly going to be made by my mum, however the patterns I have seen as so 80s! Mum says that is not a problem, and that we can mix and match, and that we don't have to use bridal patterns. But it is hard to visualise.

Not the dress I want!
I would quite like to do the flowers too, but can't work out if that is going to be economic, or even viable, as it depends a bit on being able to get the flowers we want on the day before.

I haven't really got much further in terms of the stuff we might need. So far the invites seem like the only simple bit, but we still have to design them.

Sunday, 14 September 2008

Money talks

We held the very important parental money talks today, as J's mum was down for the weekend.

The meeting was after a delicious lunch at the Sportsman, and I should really mention that first as it was so good.

I ate:
Wood pigeon, split peas and pistachios
Roast Hake, bacon and parsley sauce
Jasmine Tea Junket, strawberries and breakfast crunch


It is a bit off the beaten track in Seasalter, Kent, but my sister delivers meat there from her farm so she knew it was good.

We then went for a walk along the sea wall, sent the siblings up ahead and had a grown up chat. Money is a difficult subject to broach, but everyone knew what they were in for so it was fine. Overall we had general agreement on the plans so I think it went ok.

Before the chat I had to do some estimates of the costs of things, as everywhere you read that you should! I started with an average wedding budget from You and your wedding, which is based on their surveys.
And as we are doing some bits ourselves I had a look for costs of flower arrangements, which was fine; cakes (no luck), invitations (card, card everywhere) and dresses (aargh the patterns are sooooo 80s!). The budget was then edited and a bit added on for contingency, and voila, a rough total to present to the parents.

Now we just have to stick to it!

Monday, 1 September 2008


I appreciated this post from A Practical Wedding talking about the dress.

"And yet, somehow, it left me with a empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. I looked like A BRIDE, ie, a dress up doll of a bride. I looked like a bride, but I didn't feel a thing like myself. My inner sass, I'm afraid, was completely muffled"

"We each deserve to feel fabulous on our wedding day, and on my wedding day I would like to feel fully, absolutely, and radically like myself. And I'd rather wear a amazing cocktail dress then a beautiful wedding dress that doesn't feel a thing like me"

The dress seems like such a fundamental thing to the day, and it is also the only chance (most people) will get to wear something of such scale. I haven't tried any on yet, but must have looked at hundreds of pictures.

I think I have an idea of what I want, but I will also be aware that if it doesn't feel right, it isn't right!

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