First signs of stress
The week started off well as we visited what will now be come known as the dream venue. It is beautiful, has a great layout and everything we need. The location seems at first glance to also be great.
But then the realisation struck about the ceremony. I was doing as my very detailed and helpful to do list instructed for the 12-18 month period before W-day, and checking out the legal side of getting married. I checked the legalities of church and civil ceremonies, and only at that point found out that we can't make a civil ceremony into the religious one which would suit our complex needs, in fact you can't make it religious at all. How did I not know that? When I mentioned to my mum she said "well, yes, of course!", just me not knowing them.
So that put paid to the idea of getting someone (ideally the minister from the church we went to at University) to do the service, and a prayer from J's cousin, while the registrar can just sit and watch. But no, that's not allowed. So simply put, that is ruled out, I'm not getting married, the most important day, without God being mentioned.
Next steps, to find a church we can agree on, and preferably one which will let us arrange the service how we want. Not an easy task. I've been trying to look for information but struggling apart from the CofE, and we're hoping not to have to get married under that denomination as it's about as far away from our views as you can get, apart from maybe Catholicism.
Everything else is on hold, all the looking at dresses and flowers is just for my own fun at this stage. Until we have a ceremony organised I am not happy.
But then the realisation struck about the ceremony. I was doing as my very detailed and helpful to do list instructed for the 12-18 month period before W-day, and checking out the legal side of getting married. I checked the legalities of church and civil ceremonies, and only at that point found out that we can't make a civil ceremony into the religious one which would suit our complex needs, in fact you can't make it religious at all. How did I not know that? When I mentioned to my mum she said "well, yes, of course!", just me not knowing them.
So that put paid to the idea of getting someone (ideally the minister from the church we went to at University) to do the service, and a prayer from J's cousin, while the registrar can just sit and watch. But no, that's not allowed. So simply put, that is ruled out, I'm not getting married, the most important day, without God being mentioned.
Next steps, to find a church we can agree on, and preferably one which will let us arrange the service how we want. Not an easy task. I've been trying to look for information but struggling apart from the CofE, and we're hoping not to have to get married under that denomination as it's about as far away from our views as you can get, apart from maybe Catholicism.
Everything else is on hold, all the looking at dresses and flowers is just for my own fun at this stage. Until we have a ceremony organised I am not happy.
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